October 16, 2012

I can’t imagine the pain and the rejection my father must feel….

My biggest regret is the disrespect I had for my father as I was growing up, taking so much for granted and for the pain I inflicted upon him with so many cruel and callous actions and words. He and my mother divorced after many years of him being treated like a dog by myself, my brother and my mother also. The divorce was her choice (he had been drinking a lot and I can’t blame him). Since my earliest memories my mother was very cold and emotionless towards him. Towards the end of their relationship his drinking had become a daily occurrence and his drunken behavior would often lead to disputes which on more than one occasion when I returned home became violent between him and myself.

By that time I had moved out and was serving in the army. Perhaps it was because of the culture I was immersed in…. I don’t know…. at that stage in life I was prone to striking out first and had a tendency to solve all grievances with the use of violence. I have often felt guilt about that…. and not just with my father. Worst of all is knowing that I caused a lot of emotional pain to many people I knew but especially to my father. I have not communicated with him for 14 years or so. From what I know he has lived a solitary existence in all that time and has not been in good health with the drinking and a stroke which he had not long after the divorce. I can’t imagine the pain and the rejection he must feel. I have many regrets to choose from but that is up there with the biggest of them.

Submitted by: J

posted to Family,Yourself

2 comments

  • At 8:33 pm on October 16, 2012, Reach out commented:

    Reach out to your dad. Tell him you love him. Tell him there is room for forgiveness.

  • At 10:42 pm on October 17, 2012, Al commented:

    My dad passed away in 1999. There isn’t a day that goes by in which I don’t think about him. We had a complicated relationship and only started to get close right before he died. Time is precious and there are no do-overs. Call him,NOW. It can’t all be healed at once but start NOW. Good luck and tell him you love him.

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