December 8, 2006
I’m doomed and can’t come out of the hole…
I regret not believing in myself. Feeling like I am trapped and that I’m doomed and can’t come out of the hole that I have dug myself into. I regret feeling like I am unloved and that my life has been full of dysfunctional relationships and heartbreak. I regret not realizing how lucky I am.
Submitted by: Anonymous
At 9:20 pm on December 25, 2012, Destiny commented:
My dad has his weaknesses. No, he didn’t go arunod womanizing or getting drunk or wasting earnings on gambling; on the other hand, he can be so tender-hearted that he couldn’t muster enough authority and will to be the kind of father I wanted to have. My ideal father was one who would protect his family from dishonor, especially his daugthers; one who would be the wise voice together with the mother that would impart practical yet long-lived advice to his children. My dad wasn’t the pillar of the home which I wanted him to be. He was very awkward when it came to giving realistic advice about boys, relationships, and even on faith and religion (he is a devout Catholic) somehow, along the way, our values clashed. You could even say that I grew up faster than my dad when it came to practical matters. My dad is in the States now together with my family (I was left behind because of VISA complications aged out policy and all that) and I haven’t seen him in person for three years or so. However, despite his shortcomings, I think the greatest gift I had given him was my forgiveness. So maybe he’s not the dad of my dreams. But my dad has called me sweetheart, his little girl, and he would sing me songs as I sat on his lap as a child. There was one time when he even gave me the spare the rod and spoil the child treatment, but that’s all far and gone from my mind, and I no longer begrudge him of that, and the bitterness from those experiences are no longer in my heart.I’ll work hard, be on top, and make sure that my folks retire comfortably and happy, and be happy and fulfilled in the process of working my way to it. I’ll choose my spouse carefully and marry wisely, and make sure that I bring my dad (and mom as well hehe) a wonderful son-in-law, and of course don’t forget the grandkids. XD These are just plans, and it’s a tough world out there. But I am grateful to my dad, even with the things he lacked. I’m still on my two feet with dreaming dreams I can still afford. He’s not the best dad in the world, but hell, he’s still my dad, and I love him.