iRegret.net

I spent my entire life trying to look like an adult and act like everyone else, so that I wouldn’t be picked on, singled out, destroyed by a world that I couldn’t understand. I said “I wish to live my life in such and such fashion” and by golly, I accomplished it. I was out of school, married, with a baby, at 21. No parents to tell ME what to do anymore, those self destructive hypocrites.

Well, now I look back. My God! The pearls of wisdom I couldn’t receive from those more experienced than me could have saved me a lifetime of hurt and pain.

I made mistakes like NOBODY’s made mistakes before me.

I feel so trapped. I feel so confused, so isolated.

I regret thinking I knew what was best. I regret trusting my own intuition. I regret every talent and gift that gave me what I have today. I regret every decision that made me the man I am today. I regret that I can no longer be warm and nice in any genuine sense, and that every good thing that comes forth from me is an act.

I regret not being more careful with my friends, with the people I let be on the inside of my mind and life. I regret that I didn’t just push everyone back. I regret that I will always be weird inside and put people in little boxes, and let myself be made into such a little, little man.

Submitted by: the City of Angels