August 29, 2009
I’m trying to fight for my marriage….
I regret thinking the way I did. I regret doing what I did to make my husband of 2 weeks so angry that he left me, however I also regret that he couldn’t move past something so small and unintentional. I’m lost. I don’t understand what to do, I don’t understand the issues affecting a retired army man and why they push away loved ones. No I didn’t cheat either. If anyone can help please let me know. I miss my husband and I’m trying to fight for my marriage but don’t know what do next when he says its over anytime I bring up.
Submitted by: A.E.
At 12:41 am on September 22, 2009, MJ commented:
Dear A.E. I do not know you, or what you have done, but I do know something of the nature of military men, and how distant they can become, how quickly there moods can be altered, and how horrible it is to feel shut out from the heart of someone you love and cant communicate with. I was married for many years to a veteran of the recent wars myself, I am writing you to express, my sympathy and empathy for your situation as it seems all too familiar, regrettably I have little counsel to give as I mentioned before I am a divorcee, but if you want to look at this from a different perspective let me offer this, if what happened was unintended and relatively trivial, and it made him react so intensely, what are the chances that some other trivial or perceived slight would cause the same reaction, maybe not in two weeks, maybe in a month or a year, and what if he took you back, could you live with the anxiety that any thing you said or did that displeased him could ruin your marriage. Please don’t beat yourself up too much over whatever happened, Sometimes people push the people they love away to protect them.
At 2:13 pm on October 20, 2009, Anonymous commented:
Thank you MJ. As of now we have figured it out, he is getting counseling through the VA. He said next time he gets overwhelmed we will take a trip just us. It’s also helping that I now understand it really isnt me, I cannot fix him and I have to relax for both our sake. Thanks for taking the time to reach out….AE