September 23, 2006
I do not trust myself to demand the best from a lover…
I’m sorry that I do not trust myself enough to demand the best from a lover. It seems I am so willing to settle for less than what I know I deserve and want that I box myself into a corner, expecting things from the wrong kinds of men who have shown their limitations in terms of what they offer and what they comprehend. I’m sorry that I feel it necessary, for whatever reason, to torture myself in this way. For when such a man and I part ways (and we always do part ways) the pain of a break-up remains as fresh and shaming as if it were a break with someone truly amazing instead of just another false attempt. I’m sorry that I don’t love myself enough to know that I am truly enough as I am. If love does not come my way, then maybe that is what life intended. Life is still rich and full. Yet I’m afraid I’m blighting my happiness by hankering after the one thing that seems missing while ignoring the richness that still surrounds me. And for that, most of all, I’m truly sorry.
Submitted by: Jude
At 2:35 am on July 15, 2007, Gina commented:
“I know how you feel”
At 1:57 pm on June 17, 2008, we're humans commented:
I have fought with low self esteem at times, and yes, why would we accept things or people we don’t completely like; at least is a phrase I have to take out of my vocabulary, it’s better saying at last.