iRegret.net

After our mother passed away, my husband and I were left with the responsibility of raising my youngest sister who was 8 at the time (I have 2 sisters).  Essentially, my husband and I were honoring my mother’s wishes.  My other sister and I are closer in age and grew up with a sibling rivalry largely because I was the oldest and the good student and viewed as the “good” girl to many of our friends, family, and fellow classmates.  I was also the thinner sister and she continually received undeserving negative comments that were out my control.  When my mother chose me over her to raise our little sister, our relationship was tested even further.  I have always thought of her as the strong one (always seeming to handle difficult situations and confronting people directly when she disagreed with them), but what I failed to realize or anticipate that our last argument 30 years ago would put her over the edge, and so it has been many years that she has had nothing to do with me.  I have tried to contact her through friends and they would not give me her phone number.  I recently searched and found her on a community web page and apologized to her privately, told her I loved her but I continue to be rejected and it hurts.  I have longed for a loving sisterly relationship with her but have come to realize that it may never happen.  We are now in our 50’s.

In summary, I regret that I wasn’t sensitive to her feelings because of her past experiences and was so caught up in trying to raise our little sister and my own kids in the way I thought they should be raised that I didn’t even consider that she may feel she never measured up.  That she would feel rejected once again and that she thought we felt she wasn’t good enough.  I feel I was an active participant in all of this. I have many regrets about how I could have handled things.  Hindsight is 20-20.

Submitted by: Niece