iRegret.net

Pain – by Me
The only thing that I desire is forbidden to me.
I look at his online profile every now and then.
I spend at least half an hour reading the past messages between us.
I always check to see if he’s still single.
I spend a few seconds looking at my favorite pictures of him.
There is one; he is looking directly at the camera, all smiles.
His hair–that perfect shade between red and brown–is curling slightly from perspiration.
His blue eyes are perfectly happy as they sit inside his faintly freckled face.
The red of his worn football jersey sets off the goodness that is manifested in his joyful smile.
I sigh silently to myself.
And I feel regret crawl its ugly way up my throat and behind my eyes.
I feel it claw its way back down into my stomach where it makes a painful nest.
I shut my laptop and clench my eyes closed and will the tears away.
I break them open in time to see his best friend approach me.
I force myself to smile as he bends down to kiss me in greeting.
I can only bear to be the cause of one person’s pain at a time.
My own for now is sufficient.

Submitted by: M.E.R.