iRegret.net

When I first met you, I thought, WOW! What an amazing woman. And thru the last year we’ve developed a friendship that I cherish more than anything. Now I fear I’ve really messed things up. I’m sick over it. I don’t know what came over me. I read this book once that I’ll always remember. It was called “Finding God” and it was all about love. It talked about love and the opposite of love…most people automatically say hate. That’s not true. Love and hate are very closely intertwined. There’s only a fine line that separates the two. Both emotions are so powerful, and so hard to control. I lost control. The line became too fine and I crossed over. I can’t take back the hurtful words, they’re out there forever. But I just wanted to try to explain my erratic behavior. I feel sick inside knowing that I hurt your feelings. The true opposite of love is fear. Fear is the only thing that can stop that wonderful, blissful, and sometimes hurtful emotion of true love. I’m so very sorry.

Submitted by: T

Sometimes I regret that those girls taught me cruelty — taught me that it’s in all of us. I had been the queen bee and then they dethroned me. I had been unkind myself but not rigorously or systematically. I hadn’t understood consequences. Soon I did and kept on understanding, knowing what it is to be belittled all the time, over and over. In public. They took their fear of not belonging out on me, for two years. In ninth grade I had to be sent to private school. My mother couldn’t take it any longer. Have I forgiven them? I think so; they are not those girls anymore or most of them are not (one girl named Beth exalted too much in her prosecution to be anything but off mentally and morally and likely for good) but then I look for them in others, in situations. I am mindful not to be too pretty (or not to lead with just that) or appear too successful; I rarely boast or say, look at me or not often. I don’t often make demands of anyone but me, and I worry when I do. I’m careful of when and how I belong to any group. I am an advocate of the underdog. I value feelings and words more than I do things. (Things on their own can rarely rescue a body.) I do speak up even when what I have to say might be unpopular. I may have been this way regardless of what happened when I was 12, 13, and 14, but some of it has its roots there. I don’t know whether to regret this or to think it all self-protection, humility, the way it goes. I suppose there are gifts in everything if you look hard enough or that’s what so many people will rush to tell you and perhaps that is so… And if anyone has endured something similar or is enduring it, it is what you make of it, right? Scars, permanent or otherwise, are worth one’s love and respect. Matters improve, change. It takes patience, stamina. I never had much of the former but the latter’s required me to learn it.

Submitted by: Not so small

I spent my entire life trying to look like an adult and act like everyone else, so that I wouldn’t be picked on, singled out, destroyed by a world that I couldn’t understand. I said “I wish to live my life in such and such fashion” and by golly, I accomplished it. I was out of school, married, with a baby, at 21. No parents to tell ME what to do anymore, those self destructive hypocrites.

Well, now I look back. My God! The pearls of wisdom I couldn’t receive from those more experienced than me could have saved me a lifetime of hurt and pain.

I made mistakes like NOBODY’s made mistakes before me.

I feel so trapped. I feel so confused, so isolated.

I regret thinking I knew what was best. I regret trusting my own intuition. I regret every talent and gift that gave me what I have today. I regret every decision that made me the man I am today. I regret that I can no longer be warm and nice in any genuine sense, and that every good thing that comes forth from me is an act.

I regret not being more careful with my friends, with the people I let be on the inside of my mind and life. I regret that I didn’t just push everyone back. I regret that I will always be weird inside and put people in little boxes, and let myself be made into such a little, little man.

Submitted by: the City of Angels

I was never nice to my aunt. I was young, full of myself, and she was boring to me, a spinster. Nothing I understood. She tried to reach out to me and I was always indifferent. I tried to be better as I got older. She was a serious reader and traveled alone a lot. She had courage. Still, I was busy becoming an adult, falling in love, falling out, etc. and guilty that I’d been such a shit in the past. She died a few months ago and it turns out she left me a good amount of money. It has made me feel worse, really. I don’t deserve it. I doubt she had that in mind. She was kind, but I wonder. I don’t think I can keep it, though I need it desperately.

Submitted by: Melanie

I thought you weren’t hot enough. I thought you were too old for me. I went looking for better. There isn’t any better. I’ll be looking forever.

Submitted by: Ivan

It’s been years since we were together, and I still miss you like crazy. I keep seeing your face looking at me with those big brown eyes and saying…”Don’t ever leave me,” but you’re the one that left me.

Submitted by: guess who

Dear J: I want to let you know that I am very sorry for the pain that I contributed during our brief friendship. I wish that I had insisted that your wife know that we were friends. That may have kept us both from lapses in judgment. I think that you are a kind and wonderful person and I never meant to cause you any pain. I hope that I did not, but I think I did. I am sorry.  I was so dumbstruck when you called in March that I did not know what to say. Your voice frightened me. I hope that you know that I do not approve of dishonesty. I also do not approve of breaking up marriages or causing pain if it can be avoided. These are the only reasons that I agreed to your request. I think that you know that but not knowing for sure causes me great sorrow. You and your family are in my thoughts. I accept my responsibility for the things that would have been better left unsaid. Sometimes I feel angry and objectified by some of the things that you said, but I don’t think that you had those intentions. I think that (like me) you were feeling alone. I hope that your life is much better. I wish you the very best.  – d-

Submitted by: dmsk

I am sorry that I did not maintain our friendship. You meant a lot to me. Maybe we try again.

Submitted by: DP

I was pissed off the other day. Work, the commute, just about everything was going wrong. A guy helped me when I dropped my purse but because I was seeing red I didn’t really thank him. And then later in the day I told my boyfriend to “try to act like a man sometimes.” I said sorry after but sorry doesn’t always cut it. I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to smash something. And I should have thanked that man. He even picked up my lipstick for me. He handled it like it was something really precious.

Submitted by: Ali

Tugboat, I miss you so much! Today I found out that you have re-married. This saddens me. I could of been the one, but I let you go like a fool. I hope that you are really happy. You deserve it after how I treated you and the way I left you. I am alone and have no one. I guess I’m getting what I deserve.

Submitted by: Young Buck

I regret that, in my 20’s and wild and undisciplined, I had six abortions. Now that I’m in my 40’s and married a second time, to a wonderful man, we’d so love to have children, but that chance has passed us by. Secretly, I know I had that chance time and again, but I can tell no one. No one knows the full extent of my truth, or how many times, or the price I’m paying now. I’ve never told anyone the whole truth of this in my life. I’m the only one of earth who knows.

Submitted by: Becky

my whole entire life all i wanted was to find the perfect girl for me and i had her…except what kind of relationship can be built on a lie? i lied about who i was, i lied about sleeping with another woman when we were first getting to know each other, i lied about a lot of things. i never trusted her because i never trusted myself, and now she’s gone from me forever. i’m sorry that i caused so many problems for her, her family and her friends. i only did the things i did because i was angry at my self for pushing her away and now she’s lost to me forever… i’m sorry for the pain i caused her and our children but i regret that i didn’t do things right even when i had numerous chances to be a better friend to her. i regret not getting my divorce so i could be her fairy tale prince and give her that fairy tale ending that she wants. i regret not being there for her emotionally. i regret not telling her the truth so she could be angry and get over it, but instead i lied and she was more pissed that i lied than about what i did… i regret that i have learned all this too late… had i paid attention to her words and listened to her feeling i wouldn’t be where i am now, but most of all i regret being so selfish… i regret doing things that were not done in a loving manner like calling the cops on her when she wouldn’t do what i wanted, or putting my hands upon her in an abusive matter and for opening the car door on her stomach when she was pregnant with our first child. i regret not showing her how much i really loved her, because nothing i can do now will ever change the fact that i am nothing but a loser. i’m a loser because i am at fault for the things i have done and for the consequences that followed.  the only thing i really regret is not doing things right in the first place. i apologize for destroying a kind loving beautiful woman

Submitted by: Harun

I am in my twenties, early twenties. The life I have lead up to this point you would not even believe. I am a drug addict, and until a year ago I had a needle in my arms twice a day. Now, I just swallow enough to not get sick, sad, or tired. I miss family. I have not spoke to them in 3 years — mostly because I am so very ashamed of the arrests, lies, and deception I have cast upon them. I was an escort for a while. Since I am very attractive I got caught up in making $2000 a weekend, but ultimately karma stepped in and I was arrested for prostitution. I have loved only two people along the way — one of them is the reason I am still okay. The other, my heart and soul… is locked up in Federal Prison for the next 10 years.Now, I am trying to decide how to fix it all. My mess, my life.Submitted by: ShesSouless

I left her for someone else. Never should have. I want to come home now, to my wife, and she says she doesn’t love me anymore or won’t let herself. I thought I was in love. It was lust — mind-fucking, hair-raising lust. But Sandra (my wife of ten years) is my best friend, and I still want to take her to bed. I could have just had an affair. Or I could have just walked away (well, probably not). Now Sandra’s becoming someone else, a someone who doesn’t love me, thinks I’m a jerk and that she was a jerk for loving me. I am. She’s not. I was an ass — I let my dick get ahead of me — and now I’m more alone with my ass-self than I ever wished to be.

Submitted by: Collin

Well, I used to go to a school called Washington Middle School. There was this one Indian guy I knew, Achyut. Our last year in WMS was in 2000. Now we’re all about 21 years old. On myspace I have most people from my junior high years on my friends list. All still live in Connecticut. So the other day I was looking at my 2000 year book when I was in 8th grade. I saw Achyut and I was like omg..what happened to this guy? I never heard from him again after 2000, and he was a great friend. So I decided to look him up on myspace and found him. I couldn’t add him. I didn’t have the guts to do so. I saw that he had moved to Tucson, Arizona, and that made me feel like I’d been punched in the stomach. I felt like that cause I’m always up to talk with an old friend from the past, and I was eager to see what was happening with Achyut. I saw his myspace, he looked so happy in his pictures. I saw his comments, I saw he went to Italy and all his friends were from Arizona till I found a guy on his friends list who was from Meriden, Connecticut, someone I also went to school with. I just feel so bad cause I never said bye to him or anything. I guess he’s moved on with life… But I’ll never forget you Achyut. I miss you so much I hope one day we’ll meet again. Please come back home. Don’t forget about us…

Submitted by: The Lost One

Im sorry that I am so foolish!! I know what I am doing is stupid, but its so fun and exciting I just cant help it. Im sleeping with a married man of thirty years old. WOW that sounds trashy! I was once such a classy girl, now I am no longer true to myself. I know this relationship will go NOWHERE! But I blindly hold on to some kind of hope… I will be so sorry in the future, I know this.Submitted by: Gabby

It was me who took and gave so little. It was your big doe eyes and light brown skin that kept me buying. The drugs never got me high enough, the alcohol I drank without you was always a mistake. Fuck, Rachel Anne, I miss you. I miss what you did for me and all the bullshit things I took for granted. I miss your clear head and warm heart and for this I’m sorry. The lies, the pain and all the mess I try and make on the daily. I miss the shit out of you and I still can’t seem to find the feelings deep-inside to mend any wounds. Please don’t come back to me…. This is already bad enough. Los Sianto Mia Copa is mine.

Submitted by: Rash

WOW WHAT CAN I SAY TO YOU,

YOU WERE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I LEFT HIM FOR YOU AND AGAIN PUT ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP ON HOLD FOR YOU BUT WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU BUILT ME UP TO BE YOUR QUEEN, TO FEEL THE BEST ANYONE COULD FEEL JUST TO HAVE YOU BREAK ME DOWN, SLEEP AROUND WITH YOUR EX. WHILE YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL, YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME. I FELT LIKE YOU WERE THE ONE PROMISED TO MARRY ME BUT THEN SHE WALKS IN AND TELLS ME YOU WERE WITH HER. I QUIT MY JOB TO BE BY YOUR SIDE. I HAD NO LIFE. I STAYED AWAY THEN YOU CAME BACK AND I REALIZED THAT I AM SORRY I EVER MET YOU AND LET YOU HURT ME THE WAY YOU DID. I AM SORRY THAT I PUT MYSELF IN YOUR HANDS. I AM SORRY I EVER LOVED YOU.

Submitted by: Teddybear

BRY,

YOU WERE MY FRIEND AND MY LOVER, YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT. YOU ACCEPTED ME FOR WHO I WAS AND NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME AT ALL. YOU GAVE ME EVERYTHING I EVER WANT OR NEEDED. YOU WERE PART OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, AND HOW DID I REPAY YOU?

I WALKED ALL OVER YOU, TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND HURT YOU AND YET YOU STILL STAYED WITH ME. WE WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED AND LIVE TOGETHER, YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME, AND HOW DID I REPAY YOU? I LEFT YOU FOR SOMEONE ELSE, SOMEONE WHO IN THE END DID ALL THE THINGS I DID TO YOU, AND EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS YOU STILL STUCK BY MY SIDE REMAINED MY FRIEND AND CARED FOR ME. YOU WERE THERE AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN MY SISTER HAD MY BABY. I MADE EMPTY PROMISES THAT WE WOULD BE TOGETHER WHEN I GOT MYSELF STRAIGHT, BUT I GAVE YOU A SLAP IN THE FACE BY GETTING A NEW MAN AND HAVING A BABY WITH HIM. I AM SORRY SO SORRY YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR ME. I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL. I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU AND WISH YOU NOTHING BUT GREAT THINGS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT.

Submitted by: D

I had a pet guinea pig named Lola. My 5th grade teacher gave it to me. I loved it. Then I did some bad things to it. It almost died. Then about a year later it died because of the same reasons. I feel evil. I regret it so much. I cried after realising I was a bad person for doing it. I love you Lola, I’m sorry. Forgive Me. I’ll see you in Heaven when it’s my time.

R.I.P. Lola Ayala

2001-2004

Submitted by: Gretchen

RAY, I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO DIE AND NOT LIVE LIFE WITH YOUR KIDS. I AM SORRY THAT YOU CHOSE DRUGS OVER ME AND OUR 2 CHILDREN. I AM SORRY THAT YOU WENT TO PRISON, BUT I COULD NOT DEAL WITH THE PAIN ANYMORE. I AM SORRY THAT I COULD NOT GET YOU HELP. I AM SORRY THAT WE HAD TO DIVORCE. I AM SORRY YOU WERE NOT THEIR TO WATCH THE KIDS GROW. YOU KNOW I PUT UP WITH ALOT BUT I ALWAYS LOVED YOU, I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT NOW, I KNOW YOU HAD TO LEAVE. YOUR TIME WAS OVER. TILL WE MEET AGAIN, YOUR EX WIFE IN MEMORY OF RAY 1971-2006

Submitted by:  G BHB

Years ago one of my friends was getting married, in Pennsylvania and on a boat, to a very nice young woman, but I was in New York, and none of my other friends were going, and I hadn’t seen my friend, the one getting married, in a long time anyway, new jobs, new girlfriend (for me), and all that, and then I told another friend of ours that we should go, and he said, “No, he’s a cheap bastard,” and that kind of settled it, though the morning of the wedding I had my suit ready, and cash to go, but I sat in my kitchen, undecided, letting time pass, and then I did nothing, and I lost that friend, and that has always sucked.

Submitted by: Cheech

josh:

im sorry.

for everything.

if i would have known.

if only i would have kept my big f*cking mouth shut.

but of course.

its too late now.

youre DEAD. its not like you can hear me anyways.

but for what its worth.

im sorry.

i love you, bro.

always have.

always will.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF:

JOSHUA DEAN WHITEHOUSE

~10/28/85 to 5/25/03~

Submitted by: Natasha

I’m sorry for the 11 months I spent with you … the first real love of my life. All that time, being there for and crying about you — through all the violence and manhandling (shouting, screaming, even throwing me into a garage wall and nearly choking my life from me with your big hands around my neck); the emotional abuse (i.e. telling me I was a selfish, stupid bitch for even THINKING you would cheat on me, which I verified you did throughout our relationship — on one occasion with the 12-year-old sister of a friend of yours); the psychological abuse (for example, telling me my family didn’t really love me, because they tried to shield me from you). I’m also sorry for my former best friend, whom you married; I can’t imagine what you put HER and the kids through daily. And most of all, I’m sorry you are even on this earth. You may be charming in public, and good in bed, but behind the mask you are one of the biggest dogturds to ever walk the earth.

Submitted by: K

i regret using reverse psychology on my best friend who put up with all my sh*t and i didn’t even mention him for anything good he did for me. i’m sorry for using you. i wish you would just come back to me. i cry at night thinking “i’m an idiot.” i have no respect for a beautiful life. please forgive me. that’s all i want.

bye f-ckers, you know who you are.

Submitted by: ali