{"id":482,"date":"2010-11-16T22:37:27","date_gmt":"2010-11-17T03:37:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/2010\/11\/16\/the-only-thing-i-desire-is-forbidden-to-me\/"},"modified":"2010-11-16T22:37:27","modified_gmt":"2010-11-17T03:37:27","slug":"the-only-thing-i-desire-is-forbidden-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/2010\/11\/16\/the-only-thing-i-desire-is-forbidden-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"The only thing I desire is forbidden to me&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Pain &#8211; by Me<br \/>\nThe only thing that I desire is forbidden to me.<br \/>\nI look at his online profile every now and then.<br \/>\nI spend at least half an hour reading the past messages between us.<br \/>\nI always check to see if he\u2019s still single.<br \/>\nI spend a few seconds looking at my favorite pictures of him.<br \/>\nThere is one; he is looking directly at the camera, all smiles.<br \/>\nHis hair&#8211;that perfect shade between red and brown&#8211;is curling slightly from perspiration.<br \/>\nHis blue eyes are perfectly happy as they sit inside his faintly freckled face.<br \/>\nThe red of his worn football jersey sets off the goodness that is manifested in his joyful smile.<br \/>\nI sigh silently to myself.<br \/>\nAnd I feel regret crawl its ugly way up my throat and behind my eyes.<br \/>\nI feel it claw its way back down into my stomach where it makes a painful nest.<br \/>\nI shut my laptop and clench my eyes closed and will the tears away.<br \/>\nI break them open in time to see his best friend approach me.<br \/>\nI force myself to smile as he bends down to kiss me in greeting.<br \/>\nI can only bear to be the cause of one person\u2019s pain at a time.<br \/>\nMy own for now is sufficient.<\/p>\n<p>Submitted by: M.E.R.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pain &#8211; by Me The only thing that I desire is forbidden to me. I look at his online profile every now and then. I spend at least half an hour reading the past messages between us. I always check to see if he\u2019s still single. I spend a few seconds looking at my favorite [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-exs","category-lovers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}