{"id":578,"date":"2012-06-02T11:08:27","date_gmt":"2012-06-02T16:08:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/2012\/06\/02\/sisters-we-love-each-other-as-much-as-we-resent-each-other\/"},"modified":"2012-06-02T11:54:39","modified_gmt":"2012-06-02T16:54:39","slug":"sisters-we-love-each-other-as-much-as-we-resent-each-other","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/2012\/06\/02\/sisters-we-love-each-other-as-much-as-we-resent-each-other\/","title":{"rendered":"Sisters: We love each other as much as we resent each other&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<style> <!--  \/* Font Definitions *\/ @font-face \t{font-family:Verdana; \tpanose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; \tmso-font-charset:0; \tmso-generic-font-family:auto; \tmso-font-pitch:variable; \tmso-font-signature:-1593833729 1073750107 16 0 415 0;} @font-face \t{font-family:\"Cambria Math\"; \tpanose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; \tmso-font-charset:0; \tmso-generic-font-family:auto; \tmso-font-pitch:variable; \tmso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;} @font-face \t{font-family:Cambria; \tpanose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; \tmso-font-charset:0; \tmso-generic-font-family:auto; \tmso-font-pitch:variable; \tmso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}  \/* Style Definitions *\/ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal \t{mso-style-unhide:no; \tmso-style-qformat:yes; \tmso-style-parent:\"\"; \tmargin-top:0in; \tmargin-right:0in; \tmso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; \tmargin-left:0in; \tmso-add-space:auto; \tmso-pagination:widow-orphan; \tfont-size:12.0pt; \tfont-family:Courier; \tmso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; \tmso-bidi-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";} p.MsoNormalCxSpFirst, li.MsoNormalCxSpFirst, div.MsoNormalCxSpFirst \t{mso-style-unhide:no; \tmso-style-qformat:yes; \tmso-style-parent:\"\"; \tmso-style-type:export-only; \tmargin-top:0in; \tmargin-right:0in; \tmso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; \tmargin-left:0in; \tmso-add-space:auto; \tmso-pagination:widow-orphan; \tfont-size:12.0pt; \tfont-family:Courier; \tmso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; \tmso-bidi-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";} p.MsoNormalCxSpMiddle, li.MsoNormalCxSpMiddle, div.MsoNormalCxSpMiddle \t{mso-style-unhide:no; \tmso-style-qformat:yes; \tmso-style-parent:\"\"; \tmso-style-type:export-only; \tmargin-top:0in; \tmargin-right:0in; \tmso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; \tmargin-left:0in; \tmso-add-space:auto; \tmso-pagination:widow-orphan; \tfont-size:12.0pt; \tfont-family:Courier; \tmso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; \tmso-bidi-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";} p.MsoNormalCxSpLast, li.MsoNormalCxSpLast, div.MsoNormalCxSpLast \t{mso-style-unhide:no; \tmso-style-qformat:yes; \tmso-style-parent:\"\"; \tmso-style-type:export-only; \tmargin-top:0in; \tmargin-right:0in; \tmso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; \tmargin-left:0in; \tmso-add-space:auto; \tmso-pagination:widow-orphan; \tfont-size:12.0pt; \tfont-family:Courier; \tmso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; \tmso-bidi-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";} .MsoChpDefault \t{mso-style-type:export-only; \tmso-default-props:yes; \tfont-size:10.0pt; \tmso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; \tmso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; \tfont-family:Courier; \tmso-ascii-font-family:Courier; \tmso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; \tmso-hansi-font-family:Courier;} @page WordSection1 \t{size:8.5in 11.0in; \tmargin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; \tmso-header-margin:.5in; \tmso-footer-margin:.5in; \tmso-paper-source:0;} div.WordSection1 \t{page:WordSection1;} --> <\/style>\n<p class=\"MsoNormalCxSpFirst\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana\">I\u2019m thinking of my sisters, sisters generally, and how we love each other in equal proportion to how much we resent each other. I have two sisters, and I love them terribly but also, at times, I can\u2019t bear them, just as they can\u2019t bear me. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormalCxSpMiddle\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana\">I wish I were overstating this, but even at our age &#8212; all grown up, circling middle age &#8212; we are still trapped in these cycles, loving, carping, loving, rejecting, loving, judging, seeing versions of our parents in one another, good and bad, that we are like our mother who is as magical, accomplished, and caring as she is gone at times, into wine, into nerves and sorrow, into real and imagined slights, drama. That oblivion and, really, that unavailability she needs, that we need from one another, all of us, from the wounds we\u2019ve contributed to, the tender spots, and from all the ways in which we fear the other sisters are blocking access to what love our mother has to give&#8230; <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormalCxSpMiddle\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana\">And that we are like are father, judging, competitive despite himself &#8212; he was always better, is even now, than most, and how we want that, too, to have that high ground. We learned to fight for him, for his approval, and somehow we\u2019ve not stopped&#8230;. I have wanted my sisters to be there for me in a million ways that they could not be. They have surely wanted the same from me. I know I\u2019ve failed them, though I\u2019ve tried not to&#8230;. But I do love them, know their pains, share them, which is part of the problem, I suppose. I worry for them when worry is not what they require. (I can never tell what one\u2019s rights are as a sister, what is my business, what is not \u2013 if she is hurting herself, am I allowed to speak? No. I\u2019ve learned no. Love me on my terms or nothing. And what of my terms? And so on&#8230;)<span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormalCxSpMiddle\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana\">What\u2019s true is that I\u2019d do anything for them and their children, and what I regret is that there are far too many times that I lose sight of that or they do: we\u2019d rather have the simplicity of distance, of silence, than forgive one another our faults. We\u2019d rather be in the right, claim that high ground (my way or no way), than have peace between us. Sisters. Someday I hope we\u2019ll be better guardians to ourselves and each other but somehow I doubt it. It\u2019s just too nettled, it\u2019s been going on too long. My way or no way. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormalCxSpMiddle\"><span style=\"font-family: Verdana\">Submitted by: Sister three<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m thinking of my sisters, sisters generally, and how we love each other in equal proportion to how much we resent each other. I have two sisters, and I love them terribly but also, at times, I can\u2019t bear them, just as they can\u2019t bear me. I wish I were overstating this, but even at [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=578"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/578\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iregret.net\/wp-goodies\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}